The Juan Reyes Blog

That's a Good Question

2010-01-17T03:56:00.001-05:00

"Why don't you blog anymore, Juan?"

Well, I thank you for your sincere interest unidentified questioner, but really I don't know the answer to that.

I hope you don't think I'm out of Ideas, person who reads this. I say Person because I doubt more than one person, will read this. Anyway, no: I haven't run out of Ideas, or things I want to blog about. That's not The Situation here at all. I do seem to have a terrible case of "Blogger's block", though.

I don't know why I care though. like most things in life; I think I'm terrible at this. So, I don't update it regularly.

"What?! That's it? self-consciousness? That is what stops you from doing this?"

Well, Yes. That is it. Basically, I don't know if it's good enough to be, you know, "out there"...Although, To be honest, I'm always updating people on what I think whether they like it or not on Twitter and Facebook. Really, this should be easier to do. And I do see your point about self-consciousness, We all know how I'm not my biggest fan, it should be clear in the semi-constant self-deprecating remarks I make about myself. By "We" I mean whoever reads this and myself. Because if you're reading this, chances are you're at least an acquaintance of mine. This blog is nowhere near popular enough to be seen by strangers. The only way it'll be seen by strangers is if I do something stupid like posting it to reddit. If you are a stranger to me by chance, WELCOME. OH MY GOD, PLEASE COME BACK SOON, I LOVE YOU.

There's a lot of stuff I left out that I wanted to talk about but since I told some people who love me that I would do this more often, I'm going to do it. I mean, besides time that I would probably be wasting watching episodes of Tv Shows I missed, I have nothing to lose.

well, once again, I thank you for your time,

-Juan Reyes ( who else would be writing this)

P.s where did the ominous Grey Italicized questions go?

Maybe they only appear when I need them, unlike pencil sharpeners.

formspring.me

2010-01-17T03:17:00.001-05:00

Riddle me this: http://formspring.me/TheJuanReyes

My Review of Kermit Jr Laplander Osfm

2009-12-14T03:51:00.001-05:00

Originally submitted at Spencer's

It actually is really easy being green.

By Juan, The Guy who buys really cool hats from Brooklyn, NY on 12/14/2009

Gift: No

Pros: Awesome, Soft, Cute, Good Quality, Snuggly, Perfect Size

Cons: Hat hair

Best Uses: All Ages

Describe Yourself: College student

I saw the hat and Immediately grabbed it, and bought it. what a freaking awesome hat. It's warm, it's snugly, soft and all good things a hat should be. and It's Kermit the frog.

All I've gotten with this hat have been compliments and hat-envy. Huge confidence booster (which I needed, lol)

All-in-all: great hat. only problem is that after a while I get some pretty gnarly hat-hair, but that's kind of a given.

:] probably the best hat I've ever gotten :D

(legalese)

I'M AN ADULT!!!

2009-10-19T23:38:00.001-04:00

Warning: The Following Blog post is extremely short.

Well, I Turn 18 today, which means: I'M AN ADUUUULT!!!!!
I'M NOT A PART OF THIS SYSTEM!!!! Thank you Andy Samberg, for putting my thoughts into song.

the Line at about 00:59 to 1:00-ish means alot to me now. hahaha

:D

well that's all, I told you it was short.

Thank you for your time,
-Juan Reyes (Duuhhh!!) :P

Big-Boy-Jail and Cigarettes

2009-10-14T10:42:00.002-04:00

What is the always sexy Co-host of Attack of the show, Olivia Munn Doing here? Find out Soon! Don't worry, it makes sense*

Hello Blogosphere, how are you? oh that's right. I'm writing this, not you, so chances are you came here to find that out about me. OR BECAUSE I'M OFFERING FREE DOWNLOADS OF MY BAND (Hispanic! at the Disco)s' HIT SINGLE: YO ESCRIBO PECADOS NO TRAGEDIAS! go to www.thiswebsitedoesntexistatall.com for further details on my fake band's debut album.

So, besides that awesome news, There's something else worth mentioning: In less than a week; 5 days for you number fans (or "Asian"s as I'm sure you are referred to) I turn 18! :D
that's right, me: Little ol' Juan Reyes is finally coming of legal age (...Ladies?) and that means alot of things. Some of these things are really Groovy, others not so much. Probably the most fun thing about turning 18 is that I can now play the lottery! and who wouldn't love to pay just a few bucks for a session with a psychiatrist! because that's what the lottery is, you pay a little money, suddenly all of your hopes and dreams are coming into fruition (man, what am I gonna do with this $28 million when I win?!) and the world is a great place again, until sadly: you don't win. (who ever wins these anyways Right?) Yep $2 psychiatrist. But, like I said: it's not all so Groovy, here are some things that aren't (because man, I Really like Lists: here it goes)

I can go to Adult Jail, not Juvy
I can buy cigarettes now. "oh boy! I'll take one box of Cancer please!"
Taxes right?
I can go to Chuck E. Cheese's now, without an adult. Therein killing my childhood.
They're going to try and get me to not go to a pediatrician but, I'll be damned if I don't see Elmo and the gang when I'm getting a check-up.

Of course, there's more but I think if I keep going: I might finish writing this blog in tears. Potentially sobbing over the loss of my Legal childhood. I will say this though: Adolescence ends at 25, not 18 in men... so suck it incorrectly age-based legal system.

Wondering what to get your bestest pal Juan for the ritualistic celebration of him not dying for another year? Fear not! He has put aside his common sense and added another list to his blog! Here are some things he would actually like! (another list? Taboo? no, no: Innovative)

T-shirts based on his Favorite YouTubers
a new bamboo tablet pen, his broke.
an unlimited supply of these or something close to that.
A date with Olivia munn *(I told you it made sense) Ashley Greene, or any of the women listed here
The abilty to go back in time, and Stop his David from Joining the marines, :/ just sayin'... it would be nice.
an entire new wardrobe so he can dress his age, not his dads'
TIckets to see a movie. You can go with him, he's kinda charming (hahaha)
if that doesn't work, get him a DVD of a movie, that works too.
something to keep him entertained
or, a smile, a hug and some well-wishes.

Some of those things are easier to give than others, but either way: he'll be happy with anything you choose to give him. Because honestly, if you mess up, just wait another year and you can try again! it's just that simple :D

even though I had tons of things to say and show you people, this was all I could come up with as of now, because suprisingly, people ask me to update this. so keep on reading, and I'll keep on writing.

Xoxo Gossip Girl.
wait, that's not my sign off.

Thank you for your Time,
-Juan Reyes (there we go)

Failure: It's like winning, except it's not!

2009-09-20T17:00:00.006-04:00

That handsome whale is a friendly little reminder that what you wanted to happen, didn't happen. The iconic "Fail Whale" pops up whenever Twitters servers are about to explode because a million people are talking about how angry they are after watching this weeks "#TrueBlood" episode or something along those lines. But Failure in the real world isn't so cute.

I am getting pretty Tired of people using monosyllabic responses for everything on the internet and beyond, more specifically: "fail" and "Win". Every now and then it's spiced up with the word "Epic" before it, which is just as unoriginal. Just like almost everything that can be argued over, "Failure" is subjective. I know, you're probably thinking " ugh, Shut up Juan, It's not subjective, you either win or you loose, Douche bag" To that all I have to say is: well, why did you call me a Douche bag? that's not very nice. That's all I'm going to say to you Mr. or Mrs. Disembodied thoughts in italics, because you're wrong.

You see what I just said? I said you're wrong, because that's how I feel, so once again your failure was subjected to my ideals. You probably do the same, and continue to do so as after you read a couple of lines of this, and other opinionated readings and such. let's take some of the most recent "Failures" and see where someone could have seen it as a "Win". Oh boy, I smell a List, Kids!

Kanye West's VMA Faux-pas: sure, he lost a lot of fans, and respect, and the Leader of the free world called him a jack-ass. FAIL. But Taylor Swift has never looked more innocent. WIN.
Dylan Phifer: a 12 year old boy recently broke the World record for most points ever on Guitar Hero, with a Finger-busting-Carpal-Tunnel-syndrome-inducing 1,019,000 Points, I'm not sure if his parents think it's cool, because they'd probably prefer a "Most hours ever on Math Homework" Record to have been broken. And it must look like he never goes out. FAIL. however, He has got a Kick-ass story to tell his buddies. here's the video WIN.
This Chick: Granted, she may not be happy with the time she got on camera, or how thousands (including myself) have commented on this video with massive amounts of LOL's. FAIL But, she knows deep inside, that at that moment, John Mayer's song: "Vultures" had never been so exciting. WIN.
My Blog: sure I'm probably the only one who will read this, for a long time, and it looks really, Really boring and poorly put together (being that I don't speak Hyper Text Markup Language) FAIL. But, I'm doing this because I want to, not because I have to. i.e: so what if only I read it, There are Tons of Blogs that go by as nothing but a Drop in the Blogosphere bucket, this one just happens to be my favorite :D EPIC WIN

To wrap things up here, all I'm saying is that as an internet-based culture, we really ought to stop being so judgmental... sure it doesn't seem like much now, but the future repercussions could lead to an even more Terrible world, and we could definitely use a little cheering up every now and then. I have hope though, I'm an optimist by nature. After all, if taken literally in english: my Last Name is a Re-affirmation of agreement. (Re-Yes) WIN.

Thank you for time,
Juan Reyes (obviously)

My first Real blog

2009-09-20T03:45:00.006-04:00

"A blog (a contraction of the term "weblog")^[1] is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video. Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. "Blog" can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog

Thanks wikipedia, now I get it.

Since many people keep Diaries and even more people keep secret Diaries that they think we don't know about (even though we totally know about them) I thought what the hell, why not start one. Diaries are usually kept under a pillow, mattress or in sock drawer. Those aforementioned secret diaries are usually kept in a hollowed out husk inside of another, bigger book, like one of those Text-Books you never gave back, or some kind of religious text. But, now-a-days a blog and a diary are pretty much synonymous. That is what this will be: An online Diary of sorts for those few instances where Twitter and Facebooks' status bars just aren't enough. Also, because I just really don't want to hide anything else in that sock drawer.

This is reasonably short, as I'm not going to pour my heart out on my first post, that would just be weird. First we have to get to know each other, unknown reader... well, mostly you'll have to get to know me. I mean you're the one reading this.

And, even if nobody reads this but me: at least when I'm old and grey, I'll be able to say :
"hey, when I was younger, I used to write journal-like entries into my blog, and man, I liked it. Wait! Come back, why are you leaving me? please stay, I'm so alone these days" Yep, that's what it'll be like and, It'll be just great :D

Thank you for your time,
-Juan Reyes (obviously)